Engrave

Sometimes we just need to seize all our thoughts and pen it down. To trigger reminders of memories and feelings, right now, right here. I'm scared I'm losing the memory of you but I also have to, for my own good.

My eyes popped open the 2nd morning before I was going to leave. And that panic struck again, that panic that "oh god I don't want this moment to end but I can't do anything to stop it." I woke you up accidentally and you rolled over and grasped me tighter. I never wanted the moment to end, I love mornings where we just laze in bed til we get a wee bit too hungry to function and have to get up. Because time has passed us once again. Damn you time.

Roll over and it's past June 1st. Past doomsday. I look at a map hanging on the kitchen wall and all I see is Michigan-Malaysia. Worlds apart. Cultures apart. Times apart. Lands apart. A------>B right?

I feel that sometimes I romanticize everything about that 76 days. As thought it were some epic love story that needs to be dug out and replayed in my mind every hour or so. Pathetic. Simply pathetic. But I can't stop my mind can I?

Do I cross your mind fleetingly like you have consumed me these past weeks? I'd hope so, or maybe. You're just a guy. A guy who can move on at a drop of a hat. I hate it. I really do. I hate feeling so much when you're probably onto the next girl already. It wasn't meant to be like this, I wasn't meant to care so much. But I did. I still do.