Exactly...3 hours n 40 mins to SB freedom.
God help.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Life in chunks
Somehow life seems to come at me in chunks. I'm always setting my sights ahead to some day in the near future e.g. surviving til Thursday 5:30pm. Earlier it was surviving til last Wednesday at 2:30pm. These chunks always start at least a few days ahead of the deadline and always always always have to do with exams.
GAWD.
It's 2:14am, I have no idea why the answer to my practice midterm is the way it is, neither do I care. But that stubborn-ess that is me, won't exactly give up yet.
FARK IT ALL.
GAWD.
It's 2:14am, I have no idea why the answer to my practice midterm is the way it is, neither do I care. But that stubborn-ess that is me, won't exactly give up yet.
FARK IT ALL.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
**** it all
I have spent...about 9 hrs trying to finish my econ hmwk. It took me 2 hrs to crack the first one.
$(*%^(*&(*&^(%&^%(*&^*&^&%$##%*&^*&&(&*&^
SCREW IT ALL.
$(*%^(*&(*&^(%&^%(*&^*&^&%$##%*&^*&&(&*&^
SCREW IT ALL.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Willpower
It's something we always need to learn how to improve. Delayed gratification =).
I'm getting worse at it when it comes to food though. It's a continuous struggle between one half of me going, NO MORE SUGAR! and the other half whose sweet-tooth is freaking insane. In Kuen Cheng I used to drink a bottle of coca-cola every single day. Given my family's penchant for diabetes on both sides of the family, its kinda good I've stopped that!
Unfortunately the best kind of foods are the ones loaded with the most unhealthy things...god, so unfair.
1 week to Cancun. Should have gone gymming today but I'm still acheing from monday. I'll probably go tomorrow after class. Nothing like a good workout to get the endorphins going. Midterms over for now! WOOO. psyched.
We need willpower in all aspects of our life. Willpower to concentrate on studies when there are a host of other things to get distracted by. Which reminds me I should go concentrate on my GMATS again. Sigh. Willpower when it comes to buying Tango shoes. ARGH. Those things will be the death of me.
Willpower to exercise. Life is about finding a balance.
I'm getting worse at it when it comes to food though. It's a continuous struggle between one half of me going, NO MORE SUGAR! and the other half whose sweet-tooth is freaking insane. In Kuen Cheng I used to drink a bottle of coca-cola every single day. Given my family's penchant for diabetes on both sides of the family, its kinda good I've stopped that!
Unfortunately the best kind of foods are the ones loaded with the most unhealthy things...god, so unfair.
1 week to Cancun. Should have gone gymming today but I'm still acheing from monday. I'll probably go tomorrow after class. Nothing like a good workout to get the endorphins going. Midterms over for now! WOOO. psyched.
We need willpower in all aspects of our life. Willpower to concentrate on studies when there are a host of other things to get distracted by. Which reminds me I should go concentrate on my GMATS again. Sigh. Willpower when it comes to buying Tango shoes. ARGH. Those things will be the death of me.
Willpower to exercise. Life is about finding a balance.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Short note
Good Boleos are like a hot knife through butter.
That is all.
I got to dance with ****!!! heeee, was fun =). Made my night. He was a fittie.
That is all.
I got to dance with ****!!! heeee, was fun =). Made my night. He was a fittie.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
☮
Worked hard for a quiz and more or less aced it.
Finished a 3 week long hmwk. (FINALLY)
Got through Ozone house presentation.
It's THURSDAY.
Life is good.
Finished a 3 week long hmwk. (FINALLY)
Got through Ozone house presentation.
It's THURSDAY.
Life is good.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
In the still of the night
There's something about darkness enveloping you and the heavy lids of sheer fatigue due to exercise and too much brain work over cost of living that acts like a drug to me. Apparently sleep deprivation works like alcohol does. Now I know why people study so late, tsk tsk.
I was walking to the Union couple of hours ago and instead of lamenting over the distance, I decided hey, it is good to walk, at least to have the ability to without needing aid. Without worrying about painful knees. Spring in my step, albeit with a little bit of knee creaking already. omg. no!
Needless to say it's all about the frame of mind you're in. I think there's a trigger to everyday. My trigger tonight was having my hair all bouncy and in place for once. Such a change. That was what I'll coin my trigger mood reason.
I think the endorphins from bootcamp are seriously making me deliriously optimistic. This is why I love exercise.
I was walking to the Union couple of hours ago and instead of lamenting over the distance, I decided hey, it is good to walk, at least to have the ability to without needing aid. Without worrying about painful knees. Spring in my step, albeit with a little bit of knee creaking already. omg. no!
Needless to say it's all about the frame of mind you're in. I think there's a trigger to everyday. My trigger tonight was having my hair all bouncy and in place for once. Such a change. That was what I'll coin my trigger mood reason.
I think the endorphins from bootcamp are seriously making me deliriously optimistic. This is why I love exercise.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Echoes
Echoes of dreams dissipate upon waking. Like the silk scarf slipping through fingers, you frantically grasp at its delicate texture but still it disintegrates upon the return to reality. Until all you're left with are fragments of a memory and an ache that casts its shadow through the day.
What is idiotic is that even in the dreams there is an acknowledgment of a barrier. A boundary that has to be respected. How unfulfilling.
"And the truth that you find, will always be the truth that you hide"
Maybe inside everyone there still remains traces of the awkward, unsure person you once were.
What is idiotic is that even in the dreams there is an acknowledgment of a barrier. A boundary that has to be respected. How unfulfilling.
"And the truth that you find, will always be the truth that you hide"
Maybe inside everyone there still remains traces of the awkward, unsure person you once were.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
It's my drug
I do believe my blog is turning into a tango obsessed one...
From http://tangoloveandotherdevils.blogspot.com/2007/03/tango-types-ii-tangueras.html
II. 2 The Eager-Beginner
Eager-Beginner is taking this project of learning Argentine Tango with a lot of energy. She has just started a few lessons, and she is already mentally prepared to go to the Milongas. Sometimes, Eager Beginner sits for just way too long at some of these events--nobody knows her yet, nobody asks her to dance. But tonight, Aspiring Teacher has come to the Milonga! Once his radar detects this pretty and young girl who has just bought her first pair of Comme-Il-Fauts, he knows this is his night! And how not??? Eager-Beginner is there, sitting, all ready to demonstrate that she's really improving fast to the whole Tanguero population. Aspiring Teacher (and suddenly Aspiring Chicho) will try on her every move on Earth, Tango and non-Tango: ganchos, boleos, jumps, piernazo attempts, enrosques, and even having the Eager-Beginner do splits on the floor (seriously, I saw an Eager-Beginner do at leat two gymnastic splits while dancing to D'Arienzo in a milonga at the DC Tango Marathon last Thursday!).
Couldn't help but laugh reading this.
I'm beginning to think that buying tango shoes is like buying drugs. These are the instructions to get to the Felina shoes showroom in NYC
From http://tangoloveandotherdevils.blogspot.com/2007/03/tango-types-ii-tangueras.html
II. 2 The Eager-Beginner
Eager-Beginner is taking this project of learning Argentine Tango with a lot of energy. She has just started a few lessons, and she is already mentally prepared to go to the Milongas. Sometimes, Eager Beginner sits for just way too long at some of these events--nobody knows her yet, nobody asks her to dance. But tonight, Aspiring Teacher has come to the Milonga! Once his radar detects this pretty and young girl who has just bought her first pair of Comme-Il-Fauts, he knows this is his night! And how not??? Eager-Beginner is there, sitting, all ready to demonstrate that she's really improving fast to the whole Tanguero population. Aspiring Teacher (and suddenly Aspiring Chicho) will try on her every move on Earth, Tango and non-Tango: ganchos, boleos, jumps, piernazo attempts, enrosques, and even having the Eager-Beginner do splits on the floor (seriously, I saw an Eager-Beginner do at leat two gymnastic splits while dancing to D'Arienzo in a milonga at the DC Tango Marathon last Thursday!).
Couldn't help but laugh reading this.
I'm beginning to think that buying tango shoes is like buying drugs. These are the instructions to get to the Felina shoes showroom in NYC
LOCATION:(By Appointment Only)
90 Washington Street, Apartment #2Q (Ask for "Chino") New York, NY
(Corner of Rector St. & Washington St. in the Financial District)
90 Washington Street, Apartment #2Q (Ask for "Chino") New York, NY
(Corner of Rector St. & Washington St. in the Financial District)
=_=
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Why lahhhhh
Looking at blogs with pictures of Malaysian food at 2:30 am when you're hungry is not advisable. Why lahhhhhh is Malaysian food so good?!?!?!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Strangers
Strangers in the night
Exchanging glances
Wondering in the night
What were the chances
~Sinatra
Funny how we meet the people in our lives. Random chance encounters at locations. Just because we decided to go. What if we hadn't? What if that exact point in time had never happened? What if indeed. I marvel sometimes about how once we get past the niceties of figuring out where one person is from and getting a sense of "what" they are, you move into the deeper levels, to the "who". Beyond what is presented, and you judge them with something innate within yourself. Human beings are complex creatures.
Waiting for the day my dance moves warrant me good enough to splurge on a pair of 3 inch proper tango shoes. I have to earn it.
Its so hard learning things for the first time. When all you want to do is to be able to ace a move, or to just KNOW how to do it. Boleos are kicking my ass. Literally. Looking at the older people do the moves, you wonder how long it takes to develop the same level of skill. Does it really take time? Why can't I be the exceptional one who just picks it up instantly?
I was thinking about it in terms of Piano. If I had know it would have taken 6 years of practice and hard work to get to the level that I eventually got to I would have probably refused to continue playing. Even then, ABRSM exams weren't anything much, only 3 songs practiced for a whole friggin year. Looking back I realize how ridiculous that really is now, just because I probably have NO repertoire whatsoever. It's hard forcing something on someone when they have absolutely no interest in it. On the contrary hating practice!
Its also frustrating looking at where you really really REALLY want to be at, but knowing it'll take time to get there. First I have to expand my tango vocab then only can I really refine it...sigh. Should have found it sooner. Tango is soul sucking in the best of ways.
Taking the workshops yesterday was pretty good, steps were basic but Brigitta, Christopher and Caroline introduced an idea that hasn't really been emphasized in bootcamp Mtango. It's about musicality. It's about refining the beats and connecting to the music as a unit. It's x number of people in y area and if the connections ain't there, its gna be messy collisions! Between navigating the crowd to finding some sort of connection with your partner, it's harder than anything else you'll ever find yourself doing.
Question about Musicality though, as a follower especially in the beginning stages, I find myself wondering how I can ever have musicality of my own if all I'm expected to do is follow the little twitches and intent of a leader. I guess that is what separates the followers from the Dancers. Milongas still make me nervous. When there are moments of pauses where I expect the leader is expecting me to do some embellishments or funky moves I haven't learnt, I get seriously flustered and wonder whether it's me who is subpar, or them for not realizing I can't do what they want me to do!
Another little detail I remember was Caroline saying, TRUST! when I was holding back for the step. So true. But that is probably the basis of this dance. trusting someone else to not trip you, ram you into another couple or let you fall.
I did have a connection with one of the leaders in Practica which was amazing. I've never been quite that comfortable dancing close embrace and attempting moves I've never learnt before. Sigh. I need more!
Shopping craves
-Cute warm weather dresses
-Tango shoes
-Nars blush in Orgasm
Exchanging glances
Wondering in the night
What were the chances
~Sinatra
Funny how we meet the people in our lives. Random chance encounters at locations. Just because we decided to go. What if we hadn't? What if that exact point in time had never happened? What if indeed. I marvel sometimes about how once we get past the niceties of figuring out where one person is from and getting a sense of "what" they are, you move into the deeper levels, to the "who". Beyond what is presented, and you judge them with something innate within yourself. Human beings are complex creatures.
Waiting for the day my dance moves warrant me good enough to splurge on a pair of 3 inch proper tango shoes. I have to earn it.
Its so hard learning things for the first time. When all you want to do is to be able to ace a move, or to just KNOW how to do it. Boleos are kicking my ass. Literally. Looking at the older people do the moves, you wonder how long it takes to develop the same level of skill. Does it really take time? Why can't I be the exceptional one who just picks it up instantly?
I was thinking about it in terms of Piano. If I had know it would have taken 6 years of practice and hard work to get to the level that I eventually got to I would have probably refused to continue playing. Even then, ABRSM exams weren't anything much, only 3 songs practiced for a whole friggin year. Looking back I realize how ridiculous that really is now, just because I probably have NO repertoire whatsoever. It's hard forcing something on someone when they have absolutely no interest in it. On the contrary hating practice!
Its also frustrating looking at where you really really REALLY want to be at, but knowing it'll take time to get there. First I have to expand my tango vocab then only can I really refine it...sigh. Should have found it sooner. Tango is soul sucking in the best of ways.
Taking the workshops yesterday was pretty good, steps were basic but Brigitta, Christopher and Caroline introduced an idea that hasn't really been emphasized in bootcamp Mtango. It's about musicality. It's about refining the beats and connecting to the music as a unit. It's x number of people in y area and if the connections ain't there, its gna be messy collisions! Between navigating the crowd to finding some sort of connection with your partner, it's harder than anything else you'll ever find yourself doing.
Question about Musicality though, as a follower especially in the beginning stages, I find myself wondering how I can ever have musicality of my own if all I'm expected to do is follow the little twitches and intent of a leader. I guess that is what separates the followers from the Dancers. Milongas still make me nervous. When there are moments of pauses where I expect the leader is expecting me to do some embellishments or funky moves I haven't learnt, I get seriously flustered and wonder whether it's me who is subpar, or them for not realizing I can't do what they want me to do!
Another little detail I remember was Caroline saying, TRUST! when I was holding back for the step. So true. But that is probably the basis of this dance. trusting someone else to not trip you, ram you into another couple or let you fall.
I did have a connection with one of the leaders in Practica which was amazing. I've never been quite that comfortable dancing close embrace and attempting moves I've never learnt before. Sigh. I need more!
Shopping craves
-Cute warm weather dresses
-Tango shoes
-Nars blush in Orgasm
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