Focus

To really focus on something is to devote attention, time and mindfulness toward it. Be it an action, a believe, a movement, a learning. In this world of half distracted messages interrupting table conversations, of emails buzzing to be read and of having holidays to really disconnect, what are we doing really? What are we doing in any shape or form that improves our lives, or those around us?

Continued conversations on what next? What should you build for yourself? What should you focus on?

I went ahead and took a plunge, into something I have never done in all my years of career so far. Joining industry!

Well, I did want a shakeup didn't I?

More so, a movement internally, in the mindset, in crossing this metaphorical threshold of 30. THIRTY.

Which is really nothing in terms of years on this earth. It's not even half way in a proportionate long average life situation, whatsmore in the context of earth, the universe and everything else in between.

Context always applies!

Tired

It has been a highly charged, stressful time stretching back almost a year ago by now. Challenging in ways entirely and directly linked to career trajectories, and the people at the center of an organisation.

You see, it becomes an entire different universe the moment you step into a work setting. Whereas in school you just needed to game the system, here, there is no set system in place to help you survive what work is, what your worth is, with someone telling you that you are not good enough with little to no proof of who you are as a person or the effort and sacrifice you have put in, into this blasted activity that helps pay for your survival and your many many wants and shiny trinkets that provide momentary satisfaction and happiness. (truly though tango shoes do make me, very very happy).

There have been moments of pure anxiety and stress and being someone who does not forgive or forget easily, it has been a real challenge to my own sanity to have survived this period without utterly and entirely breaking down.

There also comes a point where reflection happens and did I know that close to 30 I’d be where I am, doing the things I’m doing, facing the people I’m facing and dealing with the things I’m dealing with? Actually, honestly, yes. I knew that my ambition and drive would always be the cause of my own anxiety, I knew that the worrywart in me was never going to go away. I knew the grit of solving a math problem for hours at age 16 was never going to go away. I knew that if I had to run a marathon I would run it. Because there is no such thing as quitting, because there is no such thing as not being able to do it, if you put the effort into it. That has always been my motto and that is always something that I believe defines who I am.

So yes, more sleep is definitely required, a reset is definitely required. All the rest, just noise. 

Burnout

Half a decade. I have reached half a decade of work. I have reached half a decade post graduation, 2 jobs, 1 promotion and a ton of projects.

Where's that bright-eyed, bushy-tailed 22 year old me? Oh wait, no, that was never me anyway =P.

Nope. Always wanting to strive for something else, that's more like it.

Oh the places you will go indeed, hardly really, so much more to explore, just..maybe not in this capacity. Quite burnt out at this point and need to refocus on a new direction.

To throw it all away? Maybe. 

Life of a Consultant

Back in Singapore a year on for a short project this time. Funny to think that it's already been a year and that a year ago I'd be confused, no idea what was coming up next and trying not to eff up too much. Now, far more in control and at ease with where I am work-wise.

So far, back to the groove of work again. Fingers crossed for this upcoming year and its challenges and responsibilities. Thinking of taking LOA for a bit next year, so will see where that goes! Argentina, here I come!

Of stepping outside Boxes

How many times do we really take a step back to see where life is now and where we want to go? Fortune favours the bold, if you don't know where you want to end up, any road will take you there, be free, chase your dreams!

Being spontaneous is a feature that society seems to put on a pedestal, but what about planning? What about goals? What about hard work? We seem so enchanted by the end story that we often dismiss the things that people have had to do to get there. Do ends really justify the means? I hope so.

3 months wrapping up the tail end of a project that I could call my own. Throwing myself into situations that would have made me seize up and freeze just a short number of years ago. Progress? I think so.

Michigan reunions seem to be in full swing this summer. Nicnocs in Sg with Dian, some ice cream, booze and boy gossip. Lulu in KL at an Entrepreneurship Forum, very yummy vegetarian food all around and Football mornings.

What next? Yes, what next indeed. Rinjani in less than a month and I cannot be more unprepared than this. Time to visit Uniqlo soon!

Also in the middle of a 2 day detox now, this is where the ends really better justify the means because it also  means I will not chew anything for 2 days straight. 

CC's survival guide to work

Thing's I've picked up over the years....

- Managers like to have push-back...sometimes. Arguably it's not easy being a manager and sometimes I have to remind myself not to sound so accusatory when highlighting issues.

- The work will sort itself out tomorrow. Leave it at the door and stop worrying.

- Deadlines are often never followed. Ever.

- Do your best, help people without thought of payback and the universe will reward you in good ways

- Keep your connections up, never ever burn bridges-crucial point I've learnt from some of the best mentors and has served me well, case in point, getting my 2nd job.

- Set the tone, jump straight in and try and help, but always own your work.

- If you don't know, then say you don't.

- Work hard, but more importantly, work smart.