Why

As much as we like to swear at whoever is the architect of our lives there's absolutely nothing we can do about things out of our control except to accept it.

I find myself fighting against myself to contact you all the time. I don't even know the reason why I want to contact you anymore, you're so far out of my routine, so far out of my life in KL that it's as though you never existed with me. Safe the random emails that get sent every so often. It's been 2 weeks since I heard your voice, the longest so far, it's been 2 weeks since I've even had a real time communication with you and it blows. It hurt. It sucks. I can swear at god all I want but that's not going to bring back a time when I was happy. It's just not.

I still wonder whether I've ever crossed your mind.

There have been changes in me, I no longer really hope for anything the way I used to. Because well, the only disappointment comes when you really want something and don't get it. So...don't long. Don't hope. Don't wish. Cast your net and what comes will come. I haven't cried over you in some time but I find a lot of emotions flooding back again. The one thing I want to do right now is talk to you but I know for my own sanity's sake I shouldn't because what can I update you about right now? Nothing.