Scared

Seems like the blogging urge always happens when I'm pass the point of delirious exhaustion. When I'm curled up in bed under my covers and chatting away with people both in my timezone and 12 hrs ahead of me, across half the world.

What can I say. I'm scared. Terrified of growing up and doing the things that I know I have to do. I've grown in ways I never knew I could, yet at this point more than any other I feel so young. I spend most of these past college years wondering who I was, and finally it seems I've settled, but I can feel the current changing yet again.

I've said it before, that perhaps its because I'm so close to the end of this chapter that I'm giving it my all. That if I don't do it now, when will I ever? Maybe it's suitable that I'm in this mindframe at this point of life because it wouldn't have fit any other time. Ever.

I've always been bemused, even when I was younger, I always felt older and maybe for once who I want to be has actually coincided with who I am. No, I'm not shisha overdosed. It's the truth.

Friends. Have had many amazing groups of friends and always I find myself connected, laughing over things. We all were once strangers, but over time the bonds have been forged. Charlie's with 2 pounds of fries and 2 fishbowls of iced tea with side dressing of gossip. Ah. We'll all move on, but for now life is perfect.

Is there such a thing as being too happy? Does the cosmos finally decide to pull the rug from under you, just when you think you have it all. I don't know. But for now, life will just go on.

So even though yesterday I got a $100 ticket for parking in the handicap spot. Even though I was quite stressed over YHO stuff, it was ok. Life was ok, because I didn't take things to heart. That's the difference between old me and new me. Today, the sun was shining, I ran errands. Absorbed life as it is right now.