Lose

Do we lose a part of ourselves over time? Just as we pick up new skills in the workplace, new real life job skills do we lose the idealistic part of us. Or maybe we just hit a brick wall called reality where all we end up being are jaded individuals.

If I could relive this life what would I do with the knowledge I ended up gaining over the relatively short period of existence? I would probably end up focusing on something developmental. No joke. Nothing is more impressive/interesting than fieldwork especially in the areas of improving people's lives. I would probably stay in academia, then again like anything else in this world there is no acknowledgment of the blood, sweat and tears that comes with struggling for recognition in an already saturated academic world.

I started thinking about jobs and being in Malaysia and how everyone that you encounter often wonders 'why did you come back?' I often want to scream out loud that people should obviously have more respect for their own country and be proud enough to say they WANT to come back. Why have we lost that much faith in our country? Negativity is great to spur people to want to do something different but sometimes I feel this country is really at its teetering point. If they build that stupid warisan merdeka I will scream. Then again it's been done through the ages so many times before and we're still functioning (barely).

Sometimes I think people just stay in places where they did their tertiary education because it holds so many memories and represents such a time where we attempted to transition to adulthood (albeit in a safe mode with tons of friends still around). I'm regressing at home.