Where is Reality?

I spent most of June in my head. I don't think I've ever done that in my life before, but sometimes you have to face things that you've put off since the year previous. I went into Senior year not expecting too much, and it's exactly at the point where you stop expecting and just decide to DO, where you finally find some peace and quiet in life, and where you see certain buried hopes and wishes bubble up to the surface, then dissipate.

So where am I now? Out of a routine, floating in limbo. It's scary because expectations that have been heaped on you by others and yourself have somehow come to a halt. For now it's up to you to create the next steps no longer defined by grades. I still think its such fallacy that we have to act as though we know exactly what the job at hand will present to us before we've even entered it, and I don't think anyone ever does realize what lies ahead even when you're faced with an interviewer, trying to practice doublethink.

Which path to take? Where does your reality lie?

Reading status updates of people returning to college, returning to soph/junior/senior year makes me kinda wistful. You really don't want something until you can't have it. True that.