What happened?

To the veracious reader who devoured books like snacks?
To the instrument player training..for exams...?
To the swimmer, tennis player, basketball player?
To the study-er, mugger, 6 hours over one problem math nerd?

Guess this is what growing up is about? Getting a job and losing your own interests in the process. Sigh.

Resolutions for the year!

2015 Resolutions
1) Travel to new places for Tango  (Paris, Istanbul, London!)
2) Take up Yoga (ok..somewhat)
3) More performances for Tango (nada!)
4) Continue Bootcamp (complete fail)
5) Take up new sport (semi...)
6) Consider Grad School (not with this exchange rate..)
7) Find something useful to contribute time to (my sleep...)
8) Read more (failed)
9) Do a handstand (failed)

2016 Resolutions
1) Keep up Yoga & Kickboxing
2) Do a friggin handstand
3) Travel more for Tango..and in general
4) Go diving at least twice this year!
5) Start and be involved in something
6) Read more
7) Spend more time with family

Choices

We make choices everyday, choices about what we wear, where we go, what we do, what we eat, who we see.

Having worked in somewhat healthcare related projects over the past year and a half (unfortunately not doctors, more the planners and strategists around the concept of healthcare), there has been growing awareness about exercise and food choices which we make on a day to day basis. When you're faced with questions on a population level basis i.e. "How can we change the behaviour and habits of a certain subset of the population who never exercises, never stretches, eats nasi lemak every day for breakfast and wonders why they have diabetes/high cholesteral/stroke...-.-". Seriously people.

It's a choice, life has always been choices, despite the inherent boundaries which we are born with, we can and do find ways to work beyond that. I am intolerant of the people who rant about their situation but when asked to confront or do something to change it, back away almost immediately. There is absolutely no love or empathy for me in that situation, in fact I'd likely be more peeved than anything else.

This is also a reminder to myself, that, exercise and fitness isn't done for the sake of looking good, it's as much about feeling good and feeling strong and truly inhabiting your body and being able to push it to its maximum capabilities. This is why I exercise and this is why I dance and yes, in the middle of crazy projects where every day sucks bits and pieces of your soul, being able to remember that we are a physical being (and not just our brain and eyes) is so, so important. Confront the pain, push through and challenge yourself.

Back to Bootcamp it is. 

27 Things

9x3. 3^3.

Jeez. Getting old, still not close to 30 yet!

27 Things to be Grateful for over this past year:

1) Getting to work in another country for a bit
2) Increasing responsibilities at work
3) Meeting new colleagues and making new friends
4) Breakthrough in Tango Expression
5) Discovering Yoga
6) Being able to do a headstand
7) Travelling to new places (Istanbul, Brisbane)
8) Bettering Tango DJ-ing skills
9) Meeting surprising friends
10) A ton of sweet weddings
11) Performing in Esplanade
12) New sports - Kickboxing
13) New Tango Shoes
14) Frolicks past midnight in the Ocean
15) Letting go
16) Clear skies post haze
17) Saying temporary good byes to key life people
18) Mad Men Finale, and a host of other good shows!
19) Paris/Italy end of year trip
20) Participating in my 1st Rally
21) Diving trips and relaxing island bumming (with rain)
22) Good Concerts
23) Functioning Family
24) Health
25) No worries over where the next meal will come from
26) Potential House Shopping
27) Good Friends

Wow. It really has been a worldwind year! More to come!

Burnout

Half a decade. I have reached half a decade of work. I have reached half a decade post graduation, 2 jobs, 1 promotion and a ton of projects.

Where's that bright-eyed, bushy-tailed 22 year old me? Oh wait, no, that was never me anyway =P.

Nope. Always wanting to strive for something else, that's more like it.

Oh the places you will go indeed, hardly really, so much more to explore, just..maybe not in this capacity. Quite burnt out at this point and need to refocus on a new direction.

To throw it all away? Maybe. 

Life of a Consultant

Back in Singapore a year on for a short project this time. Funny to think that it's already been a year and that a year ago I'd be confused, no idea what was coming up next and trying not to eff up too much. Now, far more in control and at ease with where I am work-wise.

So far, back to the groove of work again. Fingers crossed for this upcoming year and its challenges and responsibilities. Thinking of taking LOA for a bit next year, so will see where that goes! Argentina, here I come!

Being Present

I used to document days of my life. Through high school and every mundane little detail that came my way. Now relegated to the closed down site of Xanga along with all the memories, big and small, encapsulated under one title of "The Teenage Years". It's easy to forget all the nuances of events, of people we have crossed paths with over and over again until one day when you're hunting through stacks of photos because someones wedding is coming up and you dig up all the chronological events of a decade past, laughing at some of the images and still, remembering what led up to that photo, or this photo, or what you were feeling or thinking. It's funny how with a camera literally glued to my palm now, I take less pictures than I once did when it had to be printed and put into an album.

Sometimes you do feel disconnected, and wonder, truly wonder, where do you belong? Are you a part of something? Do you stand for something? 

Oh, if you could see me now

Happiness. What we always strive for. The reason for our existence I daresay.

Mad Men finished on a 'Zen' mode. Perhaps Don was always falling, for 7 seasons he was falling until he hit rock bottom. And then, there he is, sitting on a couch, watching his Coke creation. Death and creation. Beginnings and Ends.

I had a dream last night, a last hug with the one person I would trade my life years for, just for a while more. It seems surreal that it has been almost 2 years since pa passed away, and there he was, or at least a form of him was, all I knew was that I was crying in the dream and I woke up with my pillow soaked in tears.

If we lived in two realms, the one of reality and the one of imagination, then dreams would connect us. For, really it is there that all the hidden thoughts come alive and sometimes feels even more real than the waking world.