27 Things

9x3. 3^3.

Jeez. Getting old, still not close to 30 yet!

27 Things to be Grateful for over this past year:

1) Getting to work in another country for a bit
2) Increasing responsibilities at work
3) Meeting new colleagues and making new friends
4) Breakthrough in Tango Expression
5) Discovering Yoga
6) Being able to do a headstand
7) Travelling to new places (Istanbul, Brisbane)
8) Bettering Tango DJ-ing skills
9) Meeting surprising friends
10) A ton of sweet weddings
11) Performing in Esplanade
12) New sports - Kickboxing
13) New Tango Shoes
14) Frolicks past midnight in the Ocean
15) Letting go
16) Clear skies post haze
17) Saying temporary good byes to key life people
18) Mad Men Finale, and a host of other good shows!
19) Paris/Italy end of year trip
20) Participating in my 1st Rally
21) Diving trips and relaxing island bumming (with rain)
22) Good Concerts
23) Functioning Family
24) Health
25) No worries over where the next meal will come from
26) Potential House Shopping
27) Good Friends

Wow. It really has been a worldwind year! More to come!

Burnout

Half a decade. I have reached half a decade of work. I have reached half a decade post graduation, 2 jobs, 1 promotion and a ton of projects.

Where's that bright-eyed, bushy-tailed 22 year old me? Oh wait, no, that was never me anyway =P.

Nope. Always wanting to strive for something else, that's more like it.

Oh the places you will go indeed, hardly really, so much more to explore, just..maybe not in this capacity. Quite burnt out at this point and need to refocus on a new direction.

To throw it all away? Maybe. 

Life of a Consultant

Back in Singapore a year on for a short project this time. Funny to think that it's already been a year and that a year ago I'd be confused, no idea what was coming up next and trying not to eff up too much. Now, far more in control and at ease with where I am work-wise.

So far, back to the groove of work again. Fingers crossed for this upcoming year and its challenges and responsibilities. Thinking of taking LOA for a bit next year, so will see where that goes! Argentina, here I come!

Being Present

I used to document days of my life. Through high school and every mundane little detail that came my way. Now relegated to the closed down site of Xanga along with all the memories, big and small, encapsulated under one title of "The Teenage Years". It's easy to forget all the nuances of events, of people we have crossed paths with over and over again until one day when you're hunting through stacks of photos because someones wedding is coming up and you dig up all the chronological events of a decade past, laughing at some of the images and still, remembering what led up to that photo, or this photo, or what you were feeling or thinking. It's funny how with a camera literally glued to my palm now, I take less pictures than I once did when it had to be printed and put into an album.

Sometimes you do feel disconnected, and wonder, truly wonder, where do you belong? Are you a part of something? Do you stand for something? 

Oh, if you could see me now

Happiness. What we always strive for. The reason for our existence I daresay.

Mad Men finished on a 'Zen' mode. Perhaps Don was always falling, for 7 seasons he was falling until he hit rock bottom. And then, there he is, sitting on a couch, watching his Coke creation. Death and creation. Beginnings and Ends.

I had a dream last night, a last hug with the one person I would trade my life years for, just for a while more. It seems surreal that it has been almost 2 years since pa passed away, and there he was, or at least a form of him was, all I knew was that I was crying in the dream and I woke up with my pillow soaked in tears.

If we lived in two realms, the one of reality and the one of imagination, then dreams would connect us. For, really it is there that all the hidden thoughts come alive and sometimes feels even more real than the waking world. 

Balik Rumah

I'm back after 7 months away from home (the first since Uni days) and it was a good 'break' away. Granted, some late nights, a bit of stress and crazy people but hey, survived, learned, met new people, formed a new group of work colleagues. Realised that Singaporeans aren't that different from us Malaysian's and government in developed countries are sometimes equally as hopeless, in different ways. One actively and knowingly and the other just stupidly bodoh.

Heading back this weekend to experience Sg as a tourist again. Dropping by the milongas that have become my second home, buzzing around public transport which has become such a norm for me. But surprisingly, none of the nostalgia that came with leaving University.

Right now, semi enjoying the time off and looking forward to Dive trips, Tango Blitzing, Tango down South and Tango in Istanbul. Again, stabilising to a new norm with Tango at the center of it all.

Good times!

Once

Una vez, sólo te vi una vez                One time, I saw you only one time
Y te amé, sólo bastó una vez.            and I loved you, one time was enough.

There are moments in my life where I look back and think that certain times have been nothing but dreams. 10 years ago, on the brink of GCSE's and with a totally different set of friends, a totally different set of problems. Fast forward these 10 years, 1 University, 2 jobs and countless numbers of people encountered in between. A couple of people lost as well and those who have had the biggest impact on me.

Plenty of secrets unearthed.

There was a moment recently looking back at old photos, at friends who are no longer connected to us daily for hours at a time, where I've realised how tired I've become. That I rather quick, fast food relationships ring fenced by activities rather than really knowing someone inside out.

In short, I am quite tired of getting to know people, and this may be a good thing too. Life is kinda exhausting to cling onto those that no longer naturally fit in.