Why does it seem sometimes that I'm totally unchanged from the teenager I once was =.=.

Dum de dum

I have just popped the last roaccutane pill in my stash, in my mouth. Huzzah, 8 months on acne meds and damn, I forget how acne used to feel like (TOUCH WOOD). But man, good skin is priceless.

Let's see how long this lasts now.

March march march, 2 months to long break and Tango drowning, weyhey! How time flies indeed.

Musicality, so goddamn elusive damnit. But as Christopher and Caroline said in the Jan workshop, they could sense the movement around the floor and as a cohort, no one was LISTENING, to the music. And that's bad, because what is Tango without the music? Dancing is intepreting what you hear and acting upon it, which is why I like certain dramatic piece which just enhance a simple step so much more. Damnit I want to tango now.

Let's go dancing in the light

There's something to be said about dancing in these times. No I don't mean bump and grind dancing that takes place on the clubbing floor, neither do I mean the dancing that happens in ballroom competitions reserved for the 'old-folks', I mean a good social dance. I am of course talking with Argentine Tango in mind just because it is something that has moved beyond a dance for me to some extent.

For a 20 something year old the yesteryears of dancing as a form of entertainment has been far replaced by video games, tv, ipads and every other piece of technology imaginable which is why it is still refreshing to see that 1/3 of the milonga floor in a college town in AA is still filled by the under-30's. Instead of drunken friday nights in bars, the select few of us chose to do nights in a chalky classroom setting with the strains of bandoneons, and (let's be honest) a couple of professors mixed into the crowd. Throw in a bit more post-lesson margaritas and some salsa at Tios and we were good to go.

Beyond the jaded work life that I've just slipped into, Tango still remains so wholly social, which is why I will never give it up, to the extent I will work on a financial model in a booth at Shivz if need be.

Because maybe it is the one rope of sanity I have left.

Admittance

I heard that you're settled down,
That you found a girl and you're married now,
I heard that your dreams came true,
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you,
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah,

You know how the time flies,
Only yesterday was the time of our lives,
We were born and raised in a summer haze,
Bound by the surprise of our glory days,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Nothing compares,
No worries or cares,
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Quotes

"Whenever someone who knows you disappears, you lose one version of yourself. Yourself as you were seen, as you were judged to be. Lover or enemy, mother or friend, those who know us construct us, and their several knowings slant the different facets of our characters like diamond-cutter's tools. Each such loss is a step leading to the grave, where all versions blend and end."

"Perhaps the story you finish is never the one you begin." 

"Go for broke. Always try and do too much. Dispense with safety nets. Take a deep breath before you begin talking. Aim for the stars. Keep grinning. Be bloody-minded. Argue with the world. And never forget that writing is as close as we get to keeping a hold on the thousand and one things--childhood, certainties, cities, doubts, dreams, instants, phrases, parents, loves--that go on slipping , like sand, through our fingers."

"Our lives disconnect and reconnect, we move on, and later we may again touch one another, again bounce away. This is the felt shape of a human life, neither simply linear nor wholly disjunctive nor endlessly bifurcating, but rather this bouncey-castle sequence of bumpings-into and tumblings-apart."

"Memory has its own special kind. It selects, eliminates, alters, exaggerates, minimizes, glorifies, and vilifies also; but in the end it creates its own reality, its heterogeneous but usually coherent version of events; and no sane human being ever trusts someone else's version more than his own." 

"You can't judge an internal injury by the size of the hole."

Good god, Rushdie's genius. Finally finished the Satanic Verses which needed quite a chunk of concentration in order to get through, but it was a good read.

Voices

Tracing outlines hints at the sad fact that as much as you'd wish to be right there right then there is no way to do that. But more so, it's the fact that certain doors are already shut when they were once open. Who knows. Good to know that certain communication lines can still be kept up though. But yet again it's realizing that you can't always have what you want. Throw out expectation.

February 13th, 2.5 months to go. A year passes in a flash of an eye and slowly new realities are formed with new boundaries in place. Such irony sometimes.

In the midst of watching "Love and other drugs", presently surprised by the storyline thus far but 10 minutes in and it's undeniably an amazing movie. As the quote says, "not quite love story" but it smacks of similarity. Anne Hathaway has nice boobs.

Friday was an amazing day playing cranium with a great bunch of friends. As old as we get, board games really do bring us back to another time.

Pandora's Box

Back from Guilin and a week long CNY holiday break. New discovery. Holidays=horrible to get back into the swing of work.

Horrifying discovery though that I actually think I'm a workaholic. Very worried. Very very worried. Omg.

Friday party time with Cranium woot. It's good to have friends around =)